Sometimes you need to be lonely to feel that you are happy

You need to understand yourself before you understand others

You have to listen to your heart before you hear the beat of other heart

Sacrificing everything just to deserved something

You have to get hurt first before you feel the pain

You have to shout every pain to know that you’re hurt

Yes.

Sometimes you need to

…………………Cry to laugh again

…………………Sleep to wake up

…………………Be happy to wear a smile

…………………Inhale to exhale again

…………………Read to understand

…………………Fall to get up

…………………Be on top to look down

…………………Pretend to be silly

and uh..

you need to

poty!

HI POTY

Thanks for Visiting my Blogspot!

LOVE YOU CUZ!

(where superstars are born!)

remember that line?

sa lahat ng site ko binati kita..hhehehehe

PARE!!!!

i was typing something... suddenly i am already typing this... it is just a draft.. i type it on the spot... wala lang talaga akong magawa

ANG GAGO NITO

Ako ay may kwento

Tungkol sa mga pare ko

Sila ay mga cute

Parang ako

Lagi silang andyan

Bumagyo man o umaraw

Laging may kwento

Kaya ihanda mo na ang tenga mo

Hindi sila nang-iiwan

Kahit si crush ay dumaan

Gagaguhin ka lamang

Pero hindi ka bibitawan

Sila ay laging may kwento

Kwentong nakakaloko

Hahagalpak ka sa kakatawa

Hanggang lumabas ang iyong ngala-ngala

Si Lhen na mahilig sa kung ano-ano

Kahit kapitbahay ikukuwento

Tuwing Linggo nasa tyangge

Pinamimili pati kami

Si Chie na mahilig magdeclaim

Nuknukan naman ng lambing

Ilagay din natin sa ating kokote

Na ayaw nya sa torpe

Sila ay mahal ko

Mahal din kaya nila ako?

Importante sila sa akin

Sana ay ako din

Ito lang ang masasabi ko

Mga PARE ko

Ako'y laging andito

Kahit anong mangyari

Ako'y mananatili

Dyan sa iyong tabi

Di kita iiwan

Pangako yan kaibigan

Kahit lasingin ako sa inuman

Isa lang ang isisigaw

Pare kita hanggang sa huli

---> o diba ang gago.. hahahahaha.... :)

DEEP PAIN... :(

masakit... oo masakit.. lam mo kung bakit?

hindi mo alam?

masakit pala na makita mo ang isang taong pinahalagahan mo ng todo pero sa huli iiwan ka rin nya pala.. hindi ko alam kung paano ko gagawing panatag ang sarili ko.. hindi ko alam kung paano pipigilan ang bawat luha na walang sawang dumadaloy sa aking mukha...
paano ko gagawing matatag ang sarili ko kung sa bawat kilos ko lalo akong nasasaktan?

ayoko nang umiyak.. sawa na ako.. sawang sawa na.. napapagod din ako..
sa dinami-dami ng mga nanakit sa akin, aaminin ko ikaw lang nakapagpaganito sa akin... ang galing mo! hanga ako sayo! binabati kita dun!

ngayon ko lang na napatunayan na hindi lahat ng tao sa paligid mo, kasama mo hanggang sa huli.. darating yung panahon na kailangan ka nyang iwan para lang sa isang mababaw na rason..
kahit alam mo na wala kang kasalanan, nababagabag ka pa rin kasi hindi mo alam kung anong gagawin mo..

lagi kong iniisip.. baka naman ako ang mali.. baka naman ako yung nang-iwan.. baka naman ako hindi marunong umintindi... baka naman ako lang ang maarte... baka naman ako yung manhid.. Mahirap magsalita ng tapos.
naiinis ako sa sarili ko.. eto ang kahinaan ko.. sabi nila ang dali ko daw patawanin hindi nila alam na madali din akong paiyakin.. madali lang.. sana madali din akong patahanin...

hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan ako magiging ganito.. malungkot.. ang alam ko lang kahit papaano may susuporta sa akin.. sa kabila ng lahat, marami pa rin akong masasandalan... makakapitan.. mapagkakatiwalaan..
sa ngayon, sa kanila ko pa naramdaman na talagang mahal nila ako.. hindi katulad mo, puro ka pangako....

sa kanila natutunan ko na kahit ano mangyari walang iwanan
sila ngayon ang nagbibigay ng lakas sa akin.. Kaya ko gusto gumising at ipagpatuloy ang buhay ko kasi alam ko andyan sila para pasayahin ako.. Andyan sila para ibalik ang mga ngiti sa labi ko…

salamat sa kanila kasi lagi nila akong binibigyan ng lakas ng loob. Nung sinabi nila na hindi nila ako pababayaan naniwala ako at binigay ko sa kanila ang tiwala ko.

Iba sila, hindi katulad mo. Pinakikita nila sa akin na mahal nila ako at nararamdaman kong bawat galaw at salita ko pinahahalagahan nila.
hindi ko alam kung paano sila pasasalamatan... napakalaking utang na loob ko sa kanila..

Ayokong mag-isa. Ayokong umasa lalo na kung wala naman akong inaasahan.
Kung isang araw humingi ka sa akin ng patawad, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.. sa totoo lang masakit mang aminin naging parte ka na ng buhay ko..

Alam ko may pagkukulang din ako.. pero siguro naman may karapatan akong magalit diba? Pareho tayong may kasalanan. Pareho tayong nasaktan. Pareho lang tayong nagmamatigas. Pareho tayong naguguluhan. Sa ngayon awa nalang ang nararamdaman ko sayo. Hindi na ako umaasang babalik pa yung dati nating pinagsamahan pero sana mapatawad kita.

YUN LANG.

Sana mapatawad kita. Hindi man maibalik yung dati nating samahan, kahit papano hindi tayo maiilang diba? Pero ako kaya mapatawad mo?

An Old Story

I love him. He loves her. – An old story

A stupid story.

A Sad Story.

we have 105 minutes lunch break..

All of my classmates went out na to take lunch. I was just arranging my books at my locker when I saw him. [our lockers used to be outside our classroom] let’s call him R, his room was not that far to mine. nakatambay sya sa corridor tapos nakikipagkulitan sa kung sino-sinong dumadaan.. then he looked at me. He smiled. Then he said

“looking to them?” pertaining to my friends.

I don’t know what to say.. I began to get nervous but of course I am very good in hiding it

“yah.. do you know where they at?” just to have an excuse

“uhmm.. at the canteen?” still keeping that smile

“yah… maybe.. you know naman them.. food .. thanks.. gotta go” then I turn around

after the word food he laugh I wonder why and he said

“lam mo kaw lang payat sa kanila.. lam ko na kung bakit”

“geh nga… bakit?” I face him again

“instead of eating.. you’re always at the classroom.. chatting with your other friends.. sometimes you eat but always.. hmm.. hindi”

“nice observation a.. alis na nga ako.. iinisin mo naman ako eh..” the truth is I want to stay but I am afraid

“heheh.. guilty”

I smiled “hindi ah… as if mataba ka ba? alis na ako” I don’t know why am I keep saying those last three words

“okay…” still keeping that smile

wow! As in wow! I just had a conversation with him? well it’s not that new naman. Sometimes when I am at their classroom, and I am chatting with my friends there he will come and make fun at us we get used to it na because he’s like a class clown. Anyway, as I turn around, charming girl passes by and went to… him?

And greeted him…

and hugged him…

and… kissed him?

what’s is that?!

DAMN that girl

I went to our classroom instead. I felt like crying that time.. I don’t know where I should go or what should I do.. I just sit at my chair and compose myself. My chair is not that far at the door. I try to refresh my memory. Is that his new girlfriend…. again? Maybe she is. I lower my head down at my armchair and close my eyes. I’d rather sleep than think

I didn’t recognize that my other classmate was watching me. I just felt that someone was sitting beside me

“you know what? Merong mga bagay na akala mo sayo. Na sa puso’t isipan mo inangkin mo na sya pero ang masakit na katotohan eh wala kang karapatan sa kanya kasi pag mamay-ari sya ng iba”

I lift my head and stare at him. it’s him. no not the man in the corridor my other classmate. I will name him Q.

Q is HIS friend (yep, the man at the corridor) we’re not that close. Once he was my seatmate but he is always sitting with his other friends.

“I don’t know what are you talking about”

“it’s obvious”

“what? I just came here to rest”

he looked at me

“I love him. I don’t know why I just love him. the fact that he is not the ideal guy. You know him naman right? He has a lot of girlfriends kasi he has the charms. He’s an active varsity player. A campus crush. A class-clown and the only man who captivates me. Sad no? korni pa… and I don’t know why am I telling this to you. We’re not that close diba?”

“sabi nga nila it’s easy to tell stories to a stranger than to tell it to your friend”

“hmm.. geh na nga.. I consider you as a friend na…”

Q laughs

“why?”

“anong why?”

“I mean how did you know.. you know..”

“no.. I just felt”

“lakas nang radar mo a”

“talagang ganun”

our conversation was interrupted by a sound on a door we both looked at the door and saw someone……….land it’s R!

“Q tara na.. nasa baba na sila” he didn’t smile unlike kanina

“sige susunod na ako” Q looked at me

“okay..”

Q went out but before he passes the door

“ano.. may mumu dyan” Q

“gaguh..”

Q leaves

now, I am alone again at our room. I went to the corridor to look at the sky. I just thought that

What if R will ask me to be his girlfriend?

What if he kissed me?

What if he hugs me?

What if he said that he cares for me?

What if he said those old lines: I love you?

NAH! Of course not! Those were only what ifs!

I noticed that the corridor was filled with other students so I decided to go back at the classroom. I sit at my stupid chair. I wanted to cry but for what? All I have to do is live one stupid day at a time…

HOW MANY TIMES DID I PRAY HE’LL FIND ME?

A Sad Story

A stupid story.

I love him. He loves her. –An old story

READ---> An Old Story <---FIRST

I love her but I’m scared – my story

A sad story

Stupid Story

We have 105 minutes lunch break

I’m am here at the corridor fooling everyone who passes by. But the truth is… I am here to wait for a girl... hahaha... I wish I could call her mine... my girl! Hahaha... silly me... antagal nga eh... nabubulok na ako dito…

She’s not that cute pero may dating sya... simple lang at mabait.. a kind of girl na masarap titigan kasi alam mo behind that face is a lovely heart.. let’s call her M

Ayun! She was arranging her books again! I guess she was looking at her friends again. Well her friends are my classmates. I look at her and smiled..

“looking to them?” pertaining to her friends

I wish I could ask her if she can have lunch with me but I am afraid she’ll reject me…

“yah.. do you know where they at?” she said

“uhmm.. at the canteen?” I said

“yah… maybe.. you know naman them.. food .. thanks.. gotta go” then she turned around

I want her to stay and keep the conversation with her so after the word food I laugh

“lam mo kaw lang payat sa kanila.. lam ko na kung bakit” I said

“geh nga… bakit?” she face me –

tha’ts good!

“instead of eating.. you’re always at the classroom.. chatting with your other friends.. sometimes you eat but always.. hmm.. hindi” I said

“nice observation a.. alis na nga ako.. iinisin mo naman ako eh..” she said with a nice smile

“heheh.. guilty” teasing her

she smiled “hindi ah… as if mataba ka? alis na ako”

I don’t know why she wants to go but maybe she will go at their classroom.. I wanted to follow her but having that conversation with her… ahm… kuntento na ako dun!

“okay…” I said keeping my smile.. sorry can’t help it!

wow! As in wow! I just had a conversation with her? well it’s not that new. Sometimes when she is at our classroom, chatting with her friends I will gather my courage and make fun at them just to have time with her.. siguro sanay na siya kasi I am known as a class clown.

as she turns around, I saw that girl again.. no not M…

it’s the flirty girl.. she came to me

And greeted me…

and hugged me…

and… kissed me?!

Shit! I wish M did not see that! I pushed the flirty girl and said

“stop it okay?” I said it with an angry face

no one was there at the corridor, maybe M went to their classroom.. I guess she saw us and stayed quiet.

The flirty girl just leaves me. I went to our classroom and think…

Shit! Nasira ata ako.. pano na to? Ah! Lam ko na.. I will go to her classroom and ask if she can join me at lunch… hehehe..

As I was walking at the corridor, I heard Q, she was talking with M

Q is my friend. Once he was M’s seatmate pero hindi naman ata sila close.. ewan ko lang :(

I don’t know what they are talking about. All I know is they are the only creatures on that room… teka eto na ba yun sinasabi nilang selos

I just hide myself on the that stupid door and listen to their conversation

Q laughs

“why?” M

“anong why?” Q

“I mean how you knew.. you know..” M

“no.. I just felt” Q

“lakas nang radar mo a” M

“talagang ganun” Q

What is that? I don’t understand! Is he? Or is she? Or Are they?

I didn’t notice that I made a loud sound that made them stop talking. They both looked at the door and saw me… … her chair is not that far from the door….

Well, I just have to make an alibi and pretend that I didn’t hear anything…

“Q tara na.. nasa baba na sila” I said wearing a serious face… I want to smile at her but all I feel is anger.. envy. jealous

“sige susunod na ako” Q looked at her

“okay..” M said

I just went outside and waited at Q

Q and I went to the canteen but after I eat I said I will just go upstairs because I forgot my cell phone. Q wanted to accompany me but I just said no.

I will tell M that I love her… that I care for her… that… nah! I can’t…!

There she is.. Standing at the corridor and staring blankly at the sky.

What if I ask her to be my girlfriend?

What if I kissed her?

What if I hugged her?

What if I said that I care for her?

What if I said those old lines: I love you?

Hindi ko kaya.. ako pa? eh torpe ako.. oo alam nila na medyo hindi ako seryoso sa lahat ng bagay.. dati yun! Until I saw M. everything has started to change…

As I saw her standing, She looks happy.. I don’t know.. she is always like that..

She went inside their classroom. I followed her but I stayed outside. She didn’t even notice me.... as I stared at her angelic face a tear fell on my face… I’m scared.. maybe I am not the right man for her… all I wanted is to be with her.. to spend my life with her and love her until my very last breathe…

It's Her that I'm wishing for who'll be with me FOREVER

Stupid Story

A sad story

I love her but I’m scared – my story

HaLLo-Win!

Kakauwi lang namin kaninang bago mag 7am from Cardona Rial.. heheh.... Medyo pagod at syempre masaya....
My cousins was so biiiig na pala.. they are sooo kulet.. hehehe.. i guess it runs to our family talaga...

Nov1,06
Bulacan

i woke up at around 8 am and my mother was nagging me again

"dalian mo! maaga tayong aalis... blah..blah...blah.." mom

"opo" me

we arrived at the cemetery at around 9am. my ate was there already with my cousin vincent and my tita lina. at around 9:30am i went to my friend's grave and pray for her soul... at around 10am or 11 we went home na to cook for our lunch. i watched Homeboy and Game Knb kasi andun sponge! hahah.. tapos.. after my dad watch Bulagaan he went to garage to check our tires. then after so many goodbyes from my dad we went to cardona [my ate was our driver :)]

4:00pm we arrived at cardona. we went first to our tita's house at Mahabang Parang [i bet! you didin't know that place!] she arranged the flowers, foods that we will bring to the cemetery, and other stuff.. then siguro mga around 6 or 7pm we went to the cemetery na.. there are so much kwento and kamustahan happened there.. tapos kulitan with my other cousins.. while we are having kulitan the rain just pour down! hahah.. what a lucky day eh? BUT luckily our place is covered with some yeros.. i mean okay naman sya kaso medyo may tulo lang ng konti.. heheh..

after we ate dinner [yep we are standing] my cousin pottie, tracy and khale decide to go home ... that time the rain is not that heavy.. kinda mizzle.. our tita aida followed us..

while we are walking in the middle of the cemetery here come the heavy rain again! hahah.. there is no turning back so we all agreed to continue walking after all we are all damned wet!

saya! i can't remember na kung kelan ako huling naligo sa ulan.. buti nalang hindi ako taga doon! haha.. i mean wala naman ako masyadong kakilala dun!

nung makauwi na kami.. umalis ulit si tita... hahatiran nya daw ng payong yung iba na naiwan.. hehe...at kami na kauwi na? ayun.. after we clean ourselves we decided to watch a horror movie.. hahah.. MOVIE MARATHON! heheh..

Sana Masaya Din Halloween Nyo...

:)